just stupid me again

So here I am again.

It's almost a month since I left Cebu.

I left my Dan Michael B. Chiong behind.

It's starting to drive me nuts inside. I honeslty do not know what to do. I do not know what to do with my life, the thought of me not having to see Dan, and the fact that I have to put up a brave face all the time.

I have to show them I'm brave. I know, that they know, that I'm crying inside. Oh yes, I've been crying. I think if I wasn't brave enough to cry, I'd be insane by now. Even now, the effort of me holding back my tears, gives my a migraine -- literally. I know I'm brave, I gotto be.

I know too, that my Dan is brave. We both are. We both didn't cry when I left him in the airport. I cried hard though, in the plane. Good thing I was far away from my sister and brother, far away for them not to see me cry and thank you sunglasses. I can finally say that I have a use for one. Guess who who cried? My mother. She saw herself 23 years back, when my dad left my mom in the airport, bound for Cebu.

So I left my Danilo.

I miss him badly.

Back when I was in Cebu, Dan and I would meet almsot everyday. Three times a week, at least. All of sudden, no more. No more seeing Dan. No more fighting him because he was 5 mins late. No more looking forward to our meetings. No more waiting to see his figure appearing when he's almost nearby. No more Dan.

I'm just crushed. I can't describe it -- just crushed.

Long distance relationship's just like being single, you can mingle, yet, one should not do anything to lead another, since one has a boyfriend.

I miss my Dan.